F. Colburn (Francis Colburn) Adams
Chapter 47
was a very fashionable lady, but unfortunately had a head very like
a fountain, with the exception that it ejected out double the amount
it took in. Mrs. Fountain-as anybody might have known-let it get all
over town. And then the vulgar herd took it up, as if it were
assafotida, only needing a little stirring up, and hurled it back at
the St. Cecilia, the character of which it would damage without a
pang of remorse.
"Then the thing got to Constance's ears; and getting into a terrible
passion, poor Constance swore nothing would satisfy him but the
Baronet's life. But the Baronet--"
"A sorry Baronet was he-not a bit like my dear ancestor, Sir
Sunderland," Mrs. Swiggs interposes.
"Not a bit, Madam," bows our hero. "Like a sensible gentleman, as I
was about to say, finding it getting too hot for him, packed up his
alls, and in the company of his unpaid servant, left for parts
westward of this. I had a suspicion the fellow was not what he
should be; and I made it known to my select friends of the St.
Cecilia, who generally pooh-poohed me. A nobleman, they said, should
receive every attention. And to show that he wasn't what he should
be, when he got to Augusta his servant sued him for his wages; and
having nothing but his chivalry, which the servant very sensibly
declined to accept for payment, he came out like a man, and declared
himself nothing but a poor player.
"But this neither satisfied Constance nor stayed the drifting
current of slander--"
"Oh! I am so glad it was no worse," Mrs. Swiggs interrupts again.
"True!" Mr. Soloman responds, laughing heartily, as he taps her on
the arm. "It might have been worse, though. Well, I am, as you know,
always ready to do a bit of a good turn for a friend in need, and
pitying poor Constance as I did, I suggested a committee of four
most respectable gentlemen, and myself, to investigate the matter.
The thing struck Constance favorably, you see. So we got ourselves
together, agreed to consider ourselves a Congress, talked over the
affairs of the nation, carried a vote to dissolve the Union, drank